A Good Bad Day

Felt OK first thing.  Woke about 5:30 am but went back to sleep.  Eventually decided to rise about 11:00.  Showered and got dressed and a pain spasm hit.  Dosed up on morphine and rode it out.   John and Geoff had both said they would pop in to see me, which means plenty of good motorsport chat.  John  turned up first and I was still upstairs at the end of the morphine.  We chatted for a while and eventually I summoned up the energy to get going.

I know Geoff through Land Rovers and John through classic trialling, but after introducing them to each other I discovered they have shared friends from the past. Had a good chat about trials cars, greenlanes and life in general.  They have both offered any help and support they can give, ranging from a phone chat to a lift through the deep snow we are promised to get to the hospital. It is so good to be surrounded by good friends.  Both asked if I was up to receiving visitors and I told them both, real friends like them are always welcome and I can always tell real friends to go home because I am in pain/tired/nauseous or what ever.

Sharon and Lauren were supposed to be going to the theatre in Oxford again, but I was a bit nauseous and sleepy and whilst I was asleep Sharon decided not to go and sent Lauren and Frances.  I told Sharon on Monday that there would come a time when she had to make decisions without me, I thought she might have got the first one rights and left me at home snoring and puking with Ian.  No, she made the right decision, she would not have been happy sat in the theatre having left me at home in that state.

Another real friend called in for a cup of tea, Chris.  He had been playing violin with Glyndebourne on tour in Norwich and was on his way to Oxford, but he found the time to call in and drink tea and chat.  He has promised to call in when passing.

After I was sick, I felt a lot better.  I bet you all wanted to know that.  We have got the doctor to prescribe a stronger laxative as I have run out of room to eat anymore.

Andy was working at Vision today and rang me and passed me round the A team who were on duty.  Great to catch up with them and they miss my smiling positive attitude.

Ooer

Had a really good day. Woke up about 8:15 and was raring to go. Took my medication and the morphine kicked in. So I dozed until about 11:15 and then showered and got up

Aud and Ken came down to see us and I kept going. Aud is a qualified masseur, so I had a foot massage and Sharon had a back massage. We invited them to stay and eat with us, I tried to help the chopping with Ken in the kitchen but the pain started. Interestingly I noticed early, got flat out in the recliner took some oramorph and it didn't develop into anything more than a twinge. We enjoyed a team effort vegetable biryani.

After Aud and Ken left Simon turned up. I was in pain and realised I hadn't had any afternoon paracetomol. Got those down me with the dose of oramorph and dozed on the sofa whilst Simon chatted.

So I have been busy all day, not had a pain attack and kept going. Roll on tomorrow.
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Another day, more pain, more sleeping.

I did 5 hours un interrupted sleep last night and then dozed for a couple more hours. Was feeling pretty good, the different pain killers were making an impact. They have changed the feeling to a dumb ache rather than its previous sting.

After showering and dressing the big pain kicked off. I dosed up on morphine and stayed in bed. Penny turned up, as expected, and had to watch me thrash about and mutter through the morphine. She does a good line in nursing though, so she has been added to the standby carer list.

Spent the early part of the afternoon in a morphine mist. Got up about 15:30, Lauren called in and sat with me whilst Sharon went to the building society. I am putting all my accounts into joint names to make things easier in the future.

Also had several phone calls, emails and facebook messages offering help and support. Thanks to all of you. We will be making use of your offers.

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Motorsport it!

I was discharged from hospital with a folding backrest, that, I hoped, would enable me to sit up in bed whilst Sharon slept.  A quick test on arrival home said it would work if I was under 5'4" and weighed less than 10 stone.  Even extended and modified, it seemed unlikely to work for Sharon and me in bed together, but it had to be worth looking at for use on my own in bed as I have been trying to sleep with about 7 cushions.

So Andy had a quick look and Cornermotorsports went to work to produce this.

It comes complete with a Land Rover Station Wagon Rear Badge.  Does the job.

My GP, Dr Lourenco was here for about 45 minutes this morning.  We went through all the pain killer options and I think Sharon is clear on what I can have and what we should do if they don't work.  Have decided to start the Gabapentin tonight and she has left me a prescription for Dymazopan, lets see how it goes.

Sharon and I chatted and cried about music, format and speakers for my funeral.  The hospital chaplin got me thinking about it and it is starting to come together in my head.  Couple of other people I need to speak to, but it is getting there. 

Had another pain attack an hour or so after she went.  I got up, had a shower sat on the bed to put my socks on and away it went.  7.5mg of Oramorth overcame it and I then slept up until Mandi, my Macmillan nurse, turned up about 3:00.  We had a very productive session with Mandi, establishing what support will be available and how we access it.  We also completed my advanced care plan, which should keep me at home as long as I can be treated there without causing Sharon and Lauren too much stress.  We are all agreed that is the best place for me and we will do all we can to achieve it.  Mandi is in full support.

Another one that was all going so well.

Up at a reasonable hour.  Abluted, I have even got my bowels moving a bit past all the morphine.  I know you probably didn't need to know that, but it is the chemo blog and it is about my health/lack of it.  So I was feeling good and listened to The Strypes album.  Fances and Oliver came round, was good to hear a bit about Oliver's trip to NASA and I look forward to seeing pictures and hearing more.   Made Frances 'OOOO' and 'Cor' a bit by going through some of the pictures I have started collecting for the Auto Biography, which I will write some more of next time I feel good.

About 15:45 we decided to make the wheelchair and gas bottle expedition over to Mum's.  All went well with organising and loading, Sharon nearly tipped me out down one of the kerbs but we will get the hang of it.  Then whilst at Mum's the pain started.  Now, if I can't sit in the wheelchair without going into severe pain getting out and about is going to become a BIG issue.  Decided to come straight home, dosed 2.5 mg of morphine before leaving and Sharon pushed me home, by which time I was in agony.  Straight up the stairs and onto the bed.  After 30 minutes the morphine still wasn't kicking in, so I had another 5mg.  Sharon rang 111 to get advice on how much morphine I can use and what alternatives there are.  Lauren turned up as expected and she held my hand whilst Sharon was on the phone.  Eventually, either the morphine kicked in or the pain went, I don't know which.  In the middle of it all I had to sit on the loo again and hoped that this might give a clue as to what causes the pain, but no such luck.  Slept for a bit to get over it and then got up and eat a very small roast lamb dinner, feeling pretty good again by 7:30 pm.

My Macmillan nurse is coming tomorrow, we have lots of questions for her and hopefully my GP will be doing a home visit too, so there will be lots of painkiller questions for her.

If I can't cope with the wheelchair across to my Mum's I will have to go to my hospital appointment on Friday by ambulance.  Not a thought I relish.

Pattern Emerging.

Felt good. Got up. Dispatched Sharon and Lauren for a haircut and Ian turned up to babysit me (which he did an excellent job of, he can come again).

Showered, got some clothes on and made it to the sofa. After a while the pain and the cold sweat set in so I went back to bed. Ian joined me, not in bed you fools, upstairs and did an excellent job of measuring the morphine, had he not been here I would have been drinking it from the bottle.

He also took the phone calls and txts from all the people checking I was OK without Sharon, thank you all. Everything calmed down again in about an hour and we moved in front of the tele to watch a DVD about Tony Pond lapping the Isle of Man TT circuit with an average speed over 100mph in a Rover Vitesse. Awesome piece of driving.

My brother and his other half turned up mid afternoon and we sat and chatted about new houses, moving house and many other things. Really nice to see them again. Sharon and Lauren got back about 5:30 and joined us. Norman and Lesley left and Lauren and Ian went home to test their newly installed gas cooker.

Simon turned up for a cuppa and a chat. Sharon cooked us up some sweet and sour chicken and rice. Everyone has gone now and we are on the sofa having a hug. Some people want so much from life. I am pretty happy with what I have got. Who could ask for more than a loving family, caring friends and a daughter who's boyfriend makes excellent lemon tea.
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OOoooooUuuuuuuucccccchhhhh!!!!!!!!

Got up mid morning after Sharon and I had breakfasted together and felt really good after a shower. Decided to go and tidy up my outlook inbox and switched on the office computer. Sat in the chair about 5 minutes, my leg started to go numb and twitch, so I moved back to the bed, but it was too late. Another BIG pain attack which took about 2 hours (and loads of morphine) to get over.

I have been fine since. We had our oxygen installation checked and got answers to some technical questions. Also found out that we can visit anywhere in Oxfordshire and take the condensor with us. Watch out Oxfordshire.

Had a long chat on the phone with Mark. Really nice to catch up. Would quite like to see him, not sure that between us, we can be well enough to do that.

Andy called in to visit, really nice to see him. I don't think I have ever seen him sit in a chair so long and not fall asleep. Must have been the noise Sharon was making with the iron.

Sharon also cooked a fabulous lasagne for tea, which was just what I fancied and Lauren joining us made it even better. Would have liked a large glass of Chianti with it, but I am not sure how the other drugs would get on with it.

Since then I have laid on the sofa laughing at Friday night comedy with Lauren. Spoken to Simon on the phone and not moved much at all.

Bit concerned about the pain attacks. If they are bought on by sitting in a particular position will I be able to sit in the wheelchair or a car? I liked Andy's solution, borrow his American camper. Sharon didn't seem to keen to drive me round in it. Shame really as it has its own on board generator so we can take the oxygen machine..........
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