Friday, 22 November 2013

The Final Taxi

This isn't a post that is easy to write but dad was determined to keep the blog going right to the end.

After a long and restless night, dad passed away peacefully at home this morning.

The chemo blog enabled dad to offload his thoughts on dealing with cancer, but has also helped to keep you all in touch with how he was. Your support throughout has helped keep us all positive right to the end.

Lauren, Sharon and Ian.

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Thursday, 21 November 2013

It's all a bit of a blur ...

Lauren again.

I've taken over blog writing again, the breathlessness has got worse, dad had several visitors, hallucinations started again, appetite completely gone, sleeplessness nights, kind of sums up the blur of the past couple of days.

Currently waiting for the district nurse to come out to assess dad to see If there is anything they can do to help with the breathing.

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Monday, 18 November 2013

Seems like a long time

And lots will have happened. That will have mainly been doctors Macmillan nurses and Occupational Therapists. All very boring. So let's go with what I see as the highlights of the last couple of days.

Sharon has been sleeping in th front room with me. I am sure it is not very important to you, but to me it has been really comforting and re-assuring. She can get my breathing and heart rate down to a normal relaxed state with a 5 minute hug. None of the drugs do that.

We seem to have got the balance of the morphine free pain killers right. I haven't had any of the intense pain attacks recently and my hip is comfortable unless I do something stupid.

We have mastered using the wheelchair to go to the loo. This makes it easier for everyone and doesn't take me an hour to recover from. Sharon needs some manoubering lessons or the chair needs better wheels, but we haven't damaged too much.

Had another excellent foot massage from Aud yesterday and Sharon had a brief lesson. Sharon has been doing them anyway, but I am looking forward to her improved technique. It really does get the blood flowing in the lower leg, wish I had started them 18 months ago when the Vinchristine first started to hit them.

Right enough of this blogging, ought to at least pretend I have had some sleep.
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Saturday, 16 November 2013

Bed didn't work

Went off upstairs (much effort) and thought we had got the magic electric bed somewhere near the angle of the recliner. The distance between the back riser and the knee riser is all wrong though and after an hour I was in agony and couldn't breath. Took some oral morphine substitute. We had a play around and thought we had it better, but at about 4:00am I moved back to the recliner. Slept there until 5:30 then dozed through to 8:30ish when Sharon appeared with medication. So back on the recliner all day. I did struggle up to the bathroom to test the new toys and shower. Bloody hard work and took ages to recover.
I admitted to Sharon this afternoon that I think it has finally beat me. I am trying to fight and say strong but for the first time since it all started I don't feel like I can beat it. Even with the Oxygen at 4 litres an hour I feel breathless. Simply stumbling to the toilet leaves me breathless and takes ages to recover from. I have no appetite, if I do eat it is a struggle.

I will carry on blogging whilst I can.

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Friday, 15 November 2013

Children in need.

You lay on the sofa having a good/bad day with a terminal prognosis and Terry Wogan still manages to find people in a worse state than me. Shed a few tears and donated a few pounds. You should all do the same.

My GP has been in. She bought me a nebuliser. I put saline solution in and it creates steam/mist. It is supposed to ease the tightness in my chest and I think it did for about an hour, but it all tightened up again. Think I will try it again tonight, she said I could use it 3 or 4 times a day.

The adjustable bed has arrived, along with a hand rail and seat for the bath. I haven't tried them yet, job for tomorrow.

Have had periods of sitting on the sofa hugging Sharon and feeling good, then within 10 minutes I have felt down, miserable and out of breath. The Oxygen nose specs make a noise all the time and the full face mask is hot and horrible. With the nebuliser I have to wear both.

Was going to write more blog but nurse Sharon has just started a foot massage with frankincense and grapefruit oil gotta go....................
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Thursday, 14 November 2013

Average day

The exertion of climbing the stairs to go for a wash resulted in a long sit down on the loo with a plastic bowl. Would have filled the bowl, but there wasn't enough inside me to do so. You probably didn't need to know that, but I felt I should tell you to give you an understanding of how bad things have got.

Fairly quiet day, my brother rang for a chat. I love being in touch with everybody, but chatting use up oxygen so I had to have a rest after the call. I had my laptop out to clear my emails. I was going to write some Auto Biography, but I was knackered so I watched an Elvis Costello documentary instead.

So I dozed most of the afternoon, had some risotto for tea and then visiting time started. The Kings turned up to do some removals, I have a hospital bed coming tomorrow. Then Andy looked in, really good to see him, than Lauren and Ian turned up. Was nice to have it busy, it meant I didn't have to say much and it keeps me busy.
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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Latenight Blogging

Fell asleep on the sofa, so I haven't blogged. Sharon woke me up about 11:25 to take the evening cocktail of painkillers. Now wide awake watching tele and blogging.

District nurse came this morning she is happy with everything. She will leave it until next week to come again unless we call them for something.

Brian had been to see Andrew at Enstone, so he called in. We spent an hour or so going through my scriblings so far for the Auto Biography. Must type some more up.

I have managed to eat a slice of fruit toast, some pommebear crisps and some cheese. Not the worlds most nutritional food, but it's in and it's stayed in. My digestive system has been very loud with rumbles and groaning.
Mike came to see me after he had finished work at Vision. Really nice to see him. He had bought his laptop with video of his rally car out in south wales. It's a beast when you consider it is home built as a cheap fun car.

Fiona turned up whilst he was here, so for a while the talk was just high level chat. I need a more in depth discussion with Fiona about funerals. Let's hope she has time to pop back.

Falling asleep on the sofa has upset my body clock. Guess I will be awake for a while.
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